Some are not interested in having sex with other people, but still have a libido, feel sexual arousal and still masturbate. The social institution of monogamous marriage means that people might at times feel they should supply the sexual “needs” of their partner and it can become a duty to have sex, and want it.Įven people who identify as asexual are not all the same. Most parents of young children know the sensation of being far more keen on sleep than on sex.įor many, sexual interest wanes in later life, though it may flower again in a new relationship. It can disappear at times of illness and stress (even though some people use sex as a kind of stress-reliever). Sexual interest comes and goes over time. They can go for days, weeks, months or even years without sex, whereas others are irritable, distracted and unhappy after even a few days of sexual abstinence “biting the walls”, a colleague of mine once called it.Īnd some people are interested when there’s someone around to have sex with, but with no partner there as a prompt, they don’t miss sex. People who don’t feel the need for sex are rarely or never aroused. Some people feel they lack interest because they don’t want sex as often as their partner, even if they would miss it if they had to go entirely without. This is much the same in Britain and the United States.īut, somehow, the question itself sets up the expectation that not feeling like having sex is a failing or problem, especially as it’s followed by other questions about things that really sound like problems, such as painful intercourse and trouble keeping an erection.įeeling up-for-it is also quite subjective and relates to personal circumstances sometimes it’s relative. Asked: “During the last year, has there been a period of one month or more when you lacked interest in having sex?”, about a quarter of all men and half of all women said yes. from Įven among people in male–female regular sexual relationships, the Sex in Australia survey showed about one person in six had not had sex in the past four weeks. These days, failure to achieve partnered status can be seen as a problem. So one issue for people not interested in sex is created by everyone else’s idea that they should be and that there’s something wrong with them.
Sex outside marriage, masturbation and sex with same-sex partners were all much more stigmatised than now (though sex work was far more common).īut these days, failure to achieve partnered status is often seen as a problem. Many in domestic service, armed forces, the church and so on never married and this was thought quite normal. In the 19th century, lots of people had never had intercourse. This is surprisingly high when you think about lifelong singles, including some disabled people, nuns and priests. For a start, in Sex in Australia, 99% of people over 30 say they have had intercourse. Thus many sexually inactive people, especially virgins, are probably missing from sexual behaviour surveys. Refusers are likely to be less sexually liberal in their attitudes and also younger. We know the people who refuse sex surveys are not the same as those who take part. Even in the best random-sample population surveys, on any topic, one in every three or four eligible people refuses to participate. Some people who suspect they might be confronted with questions about their sexuality and feel uncomfortable answering them might refuse to take part in such surveys. Less than 1% – around 70 people – said they’d never felt sexually attracted to anyone, but this number is probably higher in the real population.